Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Rove Resigns. Poor Dubya. I bet he now feels like a kid told he can't go to Disneyland anymore
So, Rove the Toad announced he will resign. Any number of reasons why he may be leaving cause many to speculate: Is his shady involvement with current convict Jack Abramoff too hot to handle? Is his "burn it all to the ground and salt the earth b/c everything is political" shtick now just sooo 2000 & 2004? Is the stench from the U.S. attorneys scandal (particularly the Alabama prosecution of the Dem governor) getting too odiferous to cover up with Febreeze and an evil GOP wink? Whatever the reason, let us now reflect upon the gut wrenchingly emotion filled words of Bush's Brain, shall we? Please be warned... a box of tissues may be needed: With his longtime companion... err... friend Prez Bush looking on, Karl Rove choked up while saying: "I'm grateful to have been a witness to history." LIKE WHEN THE BUSH CABAL OF BLOODTHIRSTY CHICKENHAWKS HAPPILY LIED OUR NATION INTO AN ILLEGAL AND COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY WAR, IGNORED OUR CONSTITUTION AND SUSPENDED HABEAS CORPUS AND SPIED ON AMERICAN CITIZENS... dabs eyes with a tissue... AAAH, YES... GOOD TIMES. GOOD TIMES. "It has been the joy and the honor of a lifetime," said Rove, his voice quivering at times. But now is the time. ... At month's end." SNIFF... SOB... YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW DESPERATELY I WILL MISS HELPING TO DESTROY THIS GREAT NATION OF OUR'S FOR NOTHING BUT SHEER EVIL JOY AND POLITICAL PARTISANSHIP. NOTHING GETS MY SPLINTER HARDER THAN SMELLING UTTER DECAY IN THE MORNING. "I will join those whom you meet in your travels, the ordinary Americans who tell you they are praying for you." YES. AMERICANS WITH ANY SENSE IN THEIR HEADS WILL PRAY FOR ME TO SLITHER BACK TO THAT SHIT ENCRUSTED ROCK THAT I OOZED OUT OF. EITHER THAT, OR THEY WILL TAKE A SHOVEL, AND WITH A SMILE ON THEIR FACES, BASH IN MY DEPRAVED HEAD LIKE A ROTTING JACK-O-LANTERN LEFT ON THE PORCH TIL THANKSGIVING. That was truly touching. Despite his eternal love for the Ghoulish Old Party, Rove is quitting for his family -- after helping to destroy so many American families. No wonder Laura self medicates on Lithium just to live with herself... err... sleep at night... err.. get thru the day amongst such vampires... err... such fetid fucktards... err... upstanding citizens.