Monday, March 31, 2008
Times too tragic? Turn to The Tudors & Tracey
So, have ya heard that an already burning in ruins Iraq is on the verge of ripping apart at the seams while the Republicans are simply too busy being delusional, ignoring reality, rewriting history, outright lying and whitewashing crimes... while Joe-Judas Lieberman is apparently busy smoking crack, and Obama and Hillary are waaay occupied with destroying each other and the Dem Party? Fuhgettaboutit. When I want a r-e-a-l dose of cutthroat politics, watching people getting screwed over royally, and awful reflections of American reality, I'll turn to The Tudors' second season and Tracey Ullman's State of the Union. Oddly enough, only one of these cable delights was supposed to be based upon historical facts that are embellished with plenty of creative license, but I'm sure Showtime didn't count on it being Tracey Ullman's new show. Ullman's Arianna Huffington is spot-on and her sad yet hilarious portrayal of a struggling farmer's wife and her husband (whom has been sent to Iraq so many times with his National Guard unit that his flannel wearing wife has to remind him, as she climbs onto their rusty tractor in an attempt to somehow reap a crop from their foreclosed farm, to get up off his prayer mat and end his morning prayers as he is heard calling out "Allah akbar!" from the inside of his barn) is priceless. Don't get me wrong... just as I did last spring... I'll happily tune in every Sunday night to see sexy King Henry rip off his long suffering wife, his disgruntled English subjects, his Pope and his Church, and Anne Boleyn's (and any other available lady's) lacey bodice, but for real facts sprinkled with a healthy dose of creativity and American reality, I'll watch Tracey Ullman, thankyouverymuch. And while I don't dare to think I can speak for them, I'm guessing the Brits won't bash their ex-patriot Tracey in the same way they have bashed the hyper-sexed up/ historically dumbed down Tudors... feh... who cares... Jonathan Rhys-Meyers still looks smokin in his goatee and codpiece and Tracey Ullman always cracks me up... and the best parts?: As a literate woman with a brain, I can actually uncover all by my widdy-bitty self which parts are facts and fiction, and I won't have to listen to truth-disabled blowhards like Lying Limbaugh or Pat Buchanan froth at the mouth over either one of 'em.
March 18th... Lil Man's 1st Birthday
Despite having a Blues Clues themed-party this past Saturday, today is Lil Man's official day of birth. As you'll recall, it was quite the event last year (complete with near death experiences and deadly infections). Now, as I look back upon this year, I have to say this: Where TF did the time go??? And secondly, I have to add this: I always wanted a daughter, and Hubby always wanted a daughter, too. So much so, that we prayed that we would be lucky enough to have a sassy and strong willed gorgeous girl to cherish.... yet we never really pictured ourselves having a son. In fact, just after Hubby and I got married in 1999, we went to a flea market one crisp fall afternoon, and I bought something unexpected: A Seymour Mann Victorian angel doll. Now, let's be clear: I am NOT a "doll person" by any stretch of the imagination. I find dolls sitting around just staring at you to be waaaay creepy, but this doll is just somehow different. She somehow manages to not be creepy. She simply sits there looking innocently lovely: She has gorgeous long, long curly red hair, green eyes, and a lovely green velvet dress and gold halo and angel wings. When I purchased her from the old lady who was selling her, she asked me if I collected Seymour Mann dolls, and I told her that I have never bought a collectable doll before in my life but that I just thought she was beautiful and if we (Hubby and I) were someday lucky enough, I'd like to pass this doll down to a daughter of mine, The old lady took the cash from Hubby, and then she said: "Oh dear, you'll have a daughter more beautiful than that doll." And she was absolutely correct! BabyGirl is not only waaay more gorgeous than the porcelain beauty, but BabyGirl is also seriously sassy and strong-willed.... just the way we wished her to be! But somehow... after getting what we wanted in BabyGirl... we thought we might want another child, but having a son just never really entered our minds. Don't get me wrong: We knew full well that you stand a 50/50 chance of conceiving either sex, but I grew up with sisters only, and my big sis had all girls, and then we had a girl, so I guess we just couldn't imagine having a boy around, and during the month we worked on conceiving him (yep... it only took one month!) I know I certainly couldn't imagine what a girl like me would even do with a boy......... until I had one. Now, I can't believe I lived my life without him. Simply put: I am in love with my beautiful boy. He is everything I never, ever knew I wanted or needed. He fills a gap that we never knew existed. He gives us happiness that we never knew was missing. He simply makes our family complete. So, to my beautiful blue-eyed boy, I must say this: From the top of your curly blond head to the tip of your chubby little toes, I love you with all of my heart and I will always love you. I will always kiss your boo-boos, and wash your unbelievably dirty hands and face, and try not to freak out when you man-handle delicate things, and I will cheer you on no matter how secretly terrified I am that the sport you are playing will result in a fatal injury or require a tourniquet to stem the bleeding...... but most of all, I will always, always thank the stars above that the Powers That Be saw to it to send such an amazingly wonderful boy to me. Thank you for being mine. I love you Lil Man. Happy 1st Birthday.
Heart attacks, hospitals & happy birthday
As you can see from this pix of BabyGirl sitting in a hospital bed, I have been rather preoccupied. Actually, truth be told, this hospital visit has just been one of many for the month of February. Lemme 'splain: The first week of Feb, Hubby's beloved 90 yr old g-ma suffered a small heart attack. (Quick review: Hubby does not speak to his uber Evangelical Republican parents, but he is very close to his g-ma. G-ma, in turn, is not spoken to by Hubby's parents b-c she not only dares to speak to Hubby, but she also dares to not care that Hubby is a Dem and is married to a Catholic. I know... I know... WTF??) Now this heart attack event was traumatic enough, but add to it this unspeakable turn of events: Hubby's mom (g-ma's only child) had to be removed from the hospital by security guards due to her insane behavior and hissy-fit throwing, and oh yeah... due to the fact that she stole g-ma's wallet, Soc Sec card, driver's license and keys out of her purse and then she and Hubby's dad proceeded to ransack g-ma's home and stole her lockbox that holds all of g-ma's highly valuable documents... including her will. So very Christian and Conservative, no? Soooo... Hubby and his bro had to scramble to get themselves named power of attorney over all of g-ma's affairs b-c who the hell knows what else their crazy-ass mom will do to granny. In doing so, Hubby and his bro have discovered that their mom has swindled their g-ma into signing some very questionable papers in regards to g-ma's money, property & estate (i.e. 100% circumventing g-ma's wishes as have been specifically stated in her will). Again... so very Christian and Conservative, no? Now in terms of physical recovery, this spry old bird is pretty okay given her age and what happened to her, and she is getting stronger everyday in a temporary nursing home setting, but in terms of emotional recovery, she is devastated that her own only daughter could do these cruel and criminal things to her. Add to this insult to inury that dr's recommend that g-ma now sell her home and move into assisted living and that Hubby's mom greedily wants to squeeze out half of the home's value for herself and her bank account, and this entire thing is 1 gianormous clusterfuck mess. So, since g-ma's heart attack, things have been a blur between long snowy drives to Cleveland area hospitals and nursing homes and lengthy attorney visits, but we flipped around our schedules and managed..... until the kids got sick. Really sick. Really r-e-a-l-l-y sick. So sick-- that after 2 seperate visits to the pediatrician and 2 sets of prescriptions-- hospitalization was needed. What we thought was just croup (they had the telltale "barking seal" coughs) was actually RSV that happily wrecked havoc to my poor kiddos' bodies while hooking up w/a nasty sea of bacterial pneumonia germs. Sooo... off to the hospital for serious IV antibiotic-drips and dehydration-fighting fluids we went.... only to discover a few days later that they have almost gotten rid of the pneumonia, but they do still require breathing treatments AND they now have horrific ear infections that are supah-dupah strong b-c the germs have been exposed to serious antibiotics and are now completely resistant and are laughing at our mere Rx meds as if they were Pez candies. And oh yeah... in the middle of all this, what pray tell has to happen? I just had to catch RSV and pneumonia, of course... b-c really... being up night after sleepless night (crying and worrying about and taking care of such sick kids and g-ma) just wasn't enough on my already heaping mommy plate, eh? Naw. Course not. But on the bright side, one good thing has come from these endless sleepless nights: I have discovered that I abso-freaking-lutely LOVE the crazy-ass Japanese obstacle course show called Ninja Warrior on the G4 channel! Granted, it is not Monk... but it'll do in a pinch. Anyhoo... after mailing out our absentee ballots this snowy Saturday afternoon for the Ohio primary being held on March 4th (Hubby and I both voted for Obama) the only thing I plan on heaping on my mommy plate right now is a massive slice of birthday cake b-c today is my damned birthday and I don't care how freaking sick I am... I WILL BE EATING BIRTHDAY CAKE...... but I just hope that it wasn't baked in THIS.