Friday, July 17, 2009

I have something in common with Meghan McCain?

It is almost painful to type this...... but...... I. have. something. in common. with. Meghan. McCain.
We both proudly sport a set of overspilling size double D's?
Yes.... but naaaw.
We both have male relatives who were driven slightly crazy by their unspeakable time in Vietnam?
Probably..... but nope.
We both think Joe, whom cannot even Plumb, is a complete dumb-ass?
Uh, well yes.... but not quite.
We're both preternaturally white skinned and devilishly cute?
Yeah, we are.... but again.... no-sir-ree-bob.
Believe it or not, we are both proud fag hags who openly profess our love for the beloved gay men in our life.
I know. I know Can ya freakin believe it?
Well sure, she is still a member of the Republican party that cries from the rooftops that they are "the party of less govt in your lives"...... unless you happen to have the misfortune of being gay... or a minority... or a woman... or poor... or a non-theocratic Christian, but it's a start, right?
And yet, despite this huge social leap, I feel the need to "one up" my gay loving conservatard counterpart. So, while I'm no expert, my uber-liberal and slightly competitive side says I'm willing to bet good money that I've been a proud fag hag waaay longer than she has.
And this has nothing to do with the fact that I'm older than her.
This has everything to do with the fact that I became a hag to my 1st gay friend in the 4th grade. Sure, we both didn't have a concrete absolute he was gay then... but he and I were close friends way back then and I was the 1st person he came out to when we both turned 18 yrs old and I'm still his hag today, so that kind of history counts, damn it. So try and top that lil Miss Blondie-pants.
And if you total up the yrs I've been a hag to my 1st gay friend and the years I've been a hag to my 2nd gay friend, we're easily talking 20+ yrs of hardcore fag-hagging, so you just take that Miss McCrazy is My Daddy and shove it where the Judy Garland, Lady Gaga, Barbra Streisand, Madonna, and Scissor Sisters music doesn't shine, m'kay?
And last but not least, I'm seriously willing to bet that lil Miss My Momma is a Millionaire has never wanted THIS little ditty to be her ringtone and has never ever ever responded to being lovingly called "a breeder" on her voicemail to lovingly leaving THIS on her gay's voicemail in return.
So there....
Posted by Tina :: 1:00 AM :: 5 Comments:

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