Holy Mother on a moped.... this is all we need: Captain Clueless falling off the wagon at the G-8 Summit. You'd think that Angela Merkel might NOT want to chug brews with Mr. Happy-Hands, but what do I know? And ABC News is running a story that now... after chugging some German brews... that Bush is holed up in his room with some stomach illness. Uhh... we already know he suffers from mental illness, but I'm willing to bet my small children that our esteemed Prez has a wicked hangover and that's why he can't come out to play. And get this: The caption to this pix at ABC News says this: "U.S. President George Bush enjoys a cold drink in historic Heiligendamm, Germany on Thursday, June 7, 2007." A cold drink that is piss yellow and has a distinctive foam on top and is served in a Pilsner glass? Uhh, yeah assholes. That's called a BEER. He's a dry drunk that claims God talks to him and made him quit drinking and he's NOW drinking a German beer. I guess that means the mighty helping hand of Jesus has ditched Dubya or God was just waaay too busy checking out the Umpah Pah bands and lederhosen to notice His Christian warrior's fall off the wagon, huh? Then again, I distinctly recall Bush being so soused at last year's G-8 Summit that his soulfully eyed buddy Putin had to help him sit down at a table. Oh, I get it. This drinking can only mean one thing: Since nobody feels the pain of our soldiers' deaths more than he does, our beloved Commander and Chief is simply raising a glass in honor of the 27 troops who have already died this month.