Thursday, May 31, 2007

Bush requesting additional billions to fund abstinence programs

I can't imagine why anyone would deny our esteemed Prez's request for billions of dollars for such funding... especially when you consider just how honest the Bush adminstration has been with us about this, this, this, this, and this. Toss in the "fact" that abstinence only education has shown such amazing results such as this: "Watch out, boys! Because thanks to Iron Hymen, my baby cave is better guarded than a maximum security prison – even one ringed with electrified razorwire and a crocodile-infested moat!" Not convinced? Just visit the.. ahem... almost too good to be true Iron Hymen for more amazing testimonials. Ya know what? After reading these girls' awe-inspiring words and Lithium Laura's own phenomenal tale involving her yoo-hoo and a vile boy part that was attached to a "pushy young cokehead from a so-called 'good family,' " I'm almost inspired to sing abstinence's praises and go on an Iron Hymen/ Ear Sex tour.... almost. Because let's face it: I imagine the fact that I've given birth to 2 kids and been married nearly 8 yrs to a man that I love having conjugal romps with might just hinder that whole "iron hymen" thing. Oh well... I guess sexless unions truly are better left to conservatives... unless of course, when a union between conservatives produces an heir to the Cheney throne.

Posted by Tina :: 12:44 AM :: 12 Comments:

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