Friday, January 04, 2008

Mike Huckabee and Britney Spears: Unstoppable Southern Christian Trainwrecks?... maybe...

And to think... once upon a few hrs ago... I actually thought all I had to post about was the... ahem... oh-sooo-shocking choice of Iowa's GOP in the Iowa Caucus: Ya see, they picked someone whom they say "reflects their values." Uh-huh.... ahem... TRANSLATION: Theocratic nutcases picked another aww-shucks internationally clueless hypocritical hillbilly who wants to shove the Bible down our throats, into our bedrooms, and up our ovaries. Yep, this NRA-loving wingnut, who forgives murdering rapists of Clinton relatives, hopes everyone will ignore his own record as Gov (especially all of that "Jesus liked the poor not capital gains" stuff, plus his dog-murdering son's plentiful crimes) while thanking all of those "unborn voters" out there in his victory speech (as fellow crazy creationist Chuck Norris and his creepy preternaturally white teeth proudly looked on) clearly reflects the Iowa GOP's values. Wow. Who knew that we'd e-v-e-r have to question the dubious and cryptic morality of evangelical voters who flocked to The Huckster's questionable Southern Christian values?... (as if we haven't already been doing that since Bush slithered into the White House, eh?) Speaking of crazy Southerners with questionable Christian values of convenience... what about Britney's latest breakdown? Phew! Thank Baby Jesus that Unfitney and her pregnant 16 yr old lil sis were raised with such rock solid Southern Christian values that their pimp... err... their Christian mommy... was planning on telling us all about in her cancelled book. Speaking of the pimp... err... Christian mommy, she has primly asked for nuthin' but prayers for Britney. And for those of you who did not happen to catch John Edwards' 2nd place speech last night, this latest Britney escapade is a prefect example of "America's Haves vs the Have-Nots" that Edwards has so frequently spoken of. Don't think so? Do you honestly think for 1 second that if Britney were a single middle-class/poor mother instead of the rich trainwreck that she is that her kids would not have been taken away from her a LONG time ago? Do you honestly think that a hospital stay PLUS a promise of NO criminal charges would have been the end result of locking one of her babies in a room when the kid's father came to pick him up in addition to a 3 hour long standoff with the cops if that crazy bitch weren't rich?? Puh-leeze. If she were you or I, she would had been heard screaming "Don't tase me, bro!" and/or she would have had one helluva case of the scorching retinas after being peppered sprayed, and she would have been unceremoniously hauled off to the pokey. Once in jail, instead of a hospital room, she would have happily worked out her longstanding mental issues & suicide watch while staring at the filthy walls of a jail cell, wondering when further criminal charges and/or possible prison time would come crashing down upon her... while kissing goodbye any chances of being near the precious fruit of her loins again... if that crazy bitch weren't rich....
Posted by Tina :: 4:30 PM :: 17 Comments:

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