Thursday, June 28, 2007
So many douchebags... so little time
As of late, I've tried to point out the absurd in a lighthearted way. But alas, the tipping point has been reached. In the past few days, EVERY SINGLE time I watched or read the news, I found myself shaking my head-- mouth agape-- looking around saying outloud: "Ya have got to be fucking kidding me, right? These douchebags CAN'T be serious?" Sadly, yes... these douchebags are serious: 1.) Bill O'Reilly blames the dead wife of murdering wrestler Chris Benoit and the dead pregnant girlfriend of cheating and murdering cop Bobby Cutts for THEIR OWN MURDERS. Oh yes. These women are somehow responsible for the murderous plans carried out by these men against themselves and the men's own biological children. I guess they should've exhausted their mind-reading skills to avoid being murdered by men who claimed to love them and their own kids. Well, I'd like to blame Bill's infected and dessicated butt plug for his obvious insanity... but I'm no medical expert. 2.) On Hardball, a perfectly healthy young Republican man (who was holding up a "Marry me Ann" sign) asked this question of Ann Coulter: "Harry Reid, Senate majority leader, Democrat obviously, has said the war is lost. He bragged about killing the Patriot Act. I didn‘t hear a peep out of him when we killed Zarqawi. Why aren‘t more Republicans calling the Democrats out on their apparent enthusiasm to lose the war?" Umm, while I dare not even begin to think that I can speak for Ann, I have to say firstly, how can you ask Ann to marry you, young man? I thought you people were against gay marriage. Secondly, Harry Reid wasn't the only one who said the war is lost. These guys said it. And so did this guy. And they are all military men. Thirdly, killing Zarawi has accomplished WHAT exactly? Violence and US troop deaths have only INCREASED since that guy was snuffed out. Taking him out has done what for us in Iraq? Fourthly, since we're talking about Iraq, you appear to be a perfectly healthy strapping boy who simply hearts the war. You aren't in combat boots in the middle of Baghdad WHY exactly? Oh that's right. Because chickenhawk douchebags like yourself might have to face guys like this poor bastard. Fifthly, Repukes aren't calling out Dems for losing this war because they know that their party's stranglehold rule for the past 6 yrs and their own beloved despot, King "you can't subpoena me" Clueless and his crazy-ass "I'm neither in the Executive nor the Legislative Branch" co-pilot Cheney, are 100% responsible for that. 3.) The Catholic Church is 100% insane... no, really: Human-animal hybrid embryos conceived in the laboratory (so-called “chimeras”) should be regarded as human and their mothers should be allowed to give birth to them and should be able to raise them as their own children if they wish, the Catholic Church said Tues. Umm, yeeeah. So, I'm guessing the Church will chip in and start a "baby- bootie" fund for such hybrid babies because something new and pretty special will have to be made to fit over the lil ones' hooves, right? 4.) The Director of the Congressional Budget Office, Dr. Peter Orszag, says that the amount of money lost to Bush's tax cuts equals the amount of the current deficit. So, those oh-so fiscally responsible conservatives will be chucking those tax cuts, right? Of course not. For fuck's sake, rather than eliminate those tax cuts and making rich folks live at Clinton level tax rates, let's just keep digging that ceaseless hole that my kids' grandkids will inherit. 5.) 24 House Dems voted "no" to defunding the office of Cheney the FourthBranch. On Dec 19, 1998, the House of Reps passed 2 articles of impeachment against William Jefferson Clinton... for lying about an extramarital blowjob. Compare that to just some of the crimes of Cheney. Truly un-fuckingbelievable. 6.) Mitt Romney, while travelling with his family yrs ago, strapped the family dog... to the top of their station wagon. The Greasy Mitt's explanation?: "He scrambled up there every time we went on trips, got in all by himself and enjoyed it," Romney said of the Irish Setter. Got in all by himself.... up on TOP of the car?.... uh huh. And lastly, 7.) Bush reveals our secret plan for democratizing Arab countries by telling Iraq this: Act like Israel.
Ya know what? I was wrong. These deranged jackasses insult douchebags.
BabyGirl's 5th Birthday & Cheating, Murdering Canton, Ohio Cop Kills Pregnant Mom... trust me: It somehow all ties together
Sorry I've been such an absentee blogger, but I do have my reasons. Firstly, I was busy planning, purchasing, and readying up the house for BabyGirl's 5th birthday party that took place this past Saturday. We usually have a small birthday celebration, but just as we did with her 1st b-day, we had a much bigger affair b/c let's face it: My kiddo will never be quite the same after this b-day. Why? Because she will be leaving my safety net and going to school... and bringing home all kinds of influences... good and bad. It just makes me feel so sad... and helpless. Don't get me wrong. I understand that she has to grow up and flourish and that it my job as her parent to help that process along. I just didn't think it would happen so quickly and so soon. I love my BabyGirl so much that until Lil Man was born, I didn't think I could love and want to protect anyone so fiercely. I'm afraid to let her go out into the world where I can't always protect her and keep her safe from all harm... especially when things like this are happening... in the very town I grew up in. Which leads to my second reason for not blogging: This unspeakably horrific Scott Petersonesque crime took place in the town I grew up in at the hands of 1 of the town's cops. A cop who stated that he absolutely had nothing to do w/his pregnant mistress' disappearance and that he hoped she would be found alive. Ya know... the very people who are supposed to serve and protect. My sister graduated from high school with this cheating and murdering cop. My parents watched the search-crew helipcopters fly over their township's neigborhood again and again. Why? The cheating and murdering cop lives merely 2 streets over from them. The grocery store, where the pregnant mom and her 2 yr old son were last seen and photographed at, is the same place where my parents shop weekly and where my niece works as a checkout girl. Don't get me wrong, this town has crimes and murders. But not like this. As a mom & sister, I can't even begin to think of what her family is going thru. As a woman who just gave birth 3 months ago, I can't even begin to fathom how the father of the 2 yr old son/ witness to the murder and unborn baby girl could kill the mother of his children. If he didn't want to pay for yet another child (he has at least 4 children to 3 different women) he should have kept it zipped up. When the announcement was made early Sat. evening that the murdering cop had been arrested, we were lighting BabyGirl's b-day candles and making happy wishes for one more yr. I'm sure that Jessie Davis' mom would give anything to see her daughter have another b-day or see her unborn granddaughter even HAVE a b-day. And here's another thing: Ya see, while I did not know the dead mom personally, I did know the family of one the ex-girlfriends/ baby mamas of the cheating and murdering cop, and a friend of my BFF knows the cheated-on wife of the cheating and murdering cop. These are not freaky women who could be guests on Jerry Springer... well, okay... maybe being one of the maaaany women who has a kid with Shawn Kemp does qualify for Springer, but I digress. These are, by and large, just regular middle-class women from decent upbringings who made bad decisions and got involved with this murdering cop. And that, my friends is what makes my blood run cold. My BabyGirl will be a regular middle-class girl from a decent upbringing. Will she meet a guy like that? Could she get sucked into a cheating and murdering mess like this? Will she be a tragic victim of crime? And will any of the Canton area citizens ever feel safe to call the cops in times of need when an abusive and manipulative murderer is on the force? All of this makes me want to search for a magical potion that will stunt my kiddo's growth and keep her safe... sitting on the couch... smiling next to her tiny baby brother. A tiny baby brother, who (despite suffering the indignity of being photographed in BabyGirl's pink and girlie hand-me-down bib) already loves his big sissy so much, that the mere sound of her soft litle girl voice whispering to him makes him smile like that when he's sound asleep. Aww screw it... I'm going on a hunt for a magic "stunt their growth" potion for both of 'em.
Greasy snake oil salesman Mitt Romney enlists help of rabid anti-gay Rev "Lucky Louey" Sheldon
Now I have maaaany issues with Mitt Romney as a presidential candidate, but here are just some of the major ones: Besides being a king flip-flopper, this nauseating GOP chickenhawk has 5 perfectly healthy sons who are NOT in the military and/or sacrificing their blood for the war that their daddy cheerleads for, and please, let's now toss this rabid anti-gay vitriol onto the heap: His campaign has tapped radical anti-gay extremist, Rev. Louis P. Sheldon to "serve as one of the co-chairs of the 'Romney for President Faith and Values Steering Committee." For those of you who aren't familiar with the Rev. Sheldon, please allow me to intoduce you: He's a man of wealth and taste, he's been around for a long, long year, and he's stole many a man's soul and faith. Oh yeah... he really may be the Devil. Seriously. How else can you explain a man (a man, by the way, who refers to gays and lesbians as "dogs") who spews venom like this: 1. Sheldon said that public and private relief agencies providing assistance to the survivors of the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks should not give aid to surviving members of gay partnerships.
2. Sheldon actively lobbies against hate crime legislation because according to him, hate crime legislation will be "used by homosexual activists to punish any person who has the courage to speak out against the recruitment of children by homosexuals." I won't even touch that crazyass "recruitment of children by homosexuals" part because we all know that the GOP wins the pedophilia wars hands down, but WTF?... hate crime legislation punishes people who have the courage to speak out against gays? No you malevolent gasbag, hate crime legislation tries to punish and prevent folks like these guys from gangbeating gays to death. BIG difference. And while the greasy Mitt seems to be able to slither his snake oil salesman self outta most sticky situations with his smile and plastic Ken doll hair, I wanna see Romney, who said this in a letter that he wrote to the Log Cabin Republicans in 1994: "If we are to achieve the goals we share, we must make equality for gays and lesbians a mainstream concern. My opponent cannot do this. I can and will." explain joining forces with a putrifying and poisonous homophobe like Sheldon. Umm... lemme give it a whirl: Romney is a GIANT, gaping hypocrite who is so desperate for support, votes and money that he would sell his own mother to the Religious Fright and send her C.O.D. Yep. That works.
Vatican urges end to Amnesty Intrnational aid
Here we go again: The Vatican has urged all Catholics to stop donating money to Amnesty International, accusing the human rights group of promoting abortion. Amnesty said it was not promoting abortion as a universal right. Amnesty says it does not take any position on whether abortion is right or wrong. But it defended its new position in support of abortion for women when their health is in danger or human rights are violated, especially in cases of rape or incest. I'm sure at least 5 of our Supreme Crt Justices broke out the karaoke machine to belt out Ave Maria and a kegger of the Blood of Christ to celebrate this anti-Amnesty news. Because really, who the hell cares if women die due to pregnancy? Who cares if women must endure the unimaginable horror of a rape-baby? Call me crazy, but for a guy who never gets any, Pope Benny sure spends a WHOLE LOTTA time obsessing about folks who do. Why does he spend so much time galavanting around the world urging others to be excommunicated if they dare to support choices for women's health? 70,000 women die per year due to illegal abortions. Obviously their lives don't count. For a guy who claims to despise homosexuality, he spends a WHOLE LOTTA time condemning, criminalizing, and hating females, no? And ya know what? Abortion is perfectly legal and accessible via universal healthcare coverage in Italy... ya know... Italy... Pope Benny's OWN backyard. Why doesn't he devote some of that ample misogynistic time on his hands to criminalizing abortion for the women in his own nation if it sooo offends him? As a Catholic, I'm sick and tired of the ironhanded Paters ramming their noses and rosaries into everyone else's ovaries, and I'm fed up with the Church using money towards hating half of the world's population, so why don't we try using economic sanctions against the Church instead of Amnesty International? Their position on abortion and contraceptives goes beyond maintaining Church teachings and doctrine that are clearly out of touch when it comes to modern day medical crisises and violations of women's bodies... it is reprehensible, irresponsible, and immoral.
Gay panic: Hey Mary, beating that man to death won't make you straight
Attention you sick and twisted nelly bitches, take this advice from a fag hag from way back because this is R-E-A-L simple: If you can't handle being a fag, don't go out and beat to death the guy who doesn't have a problem with being gay. And by the way you gay panic Neanderthal geniuses, when you gang beat a man to death with your bare hands because you say he had AIDS and came on to you, you do realize that you exposed yourself to his blood, don't you? Oh well, when you're the belle of the ball on Cell Block C, exposure to your murder victim's blood will hopefully be the least of your worries. And don't think for a second that the irony will be lost to the fact that you murdered a man who had gay sex and now-- if convicted-- you'll get to spend your prison term engaging in gay sex... for mere daily survival.
Brownback supports rapists' rights to be fathers
Now, Brownback is the very same guy who ridiculously claimed last year that embryonic stem cells CAUSED tumors, so truthfully, whad'ya expect? But oh yeah... the theocratic douchewit actually went here with the anti-choice argument: According to Sen. Sam Brownback, a Republican presidential hopeful from Kansas: "Rape is terrible. Rape is awful," (aaaw... do ya think?) but rape victims' rights come secondary to those of an unborn child." Secondary to the unborn child? So I guess if Brownback were in the middle of a fertility clinic-- which was on fire-- and he had the choice of saving a kid like my 4 yr old daughter/ 12 wk old son or petri dishes full of cells, he'd happily let my kiddos sizzle like a piece of chicken and save those blastocytes because a living, breathing, cared for and loved human being is merely secondary to the unborn. And get this bloodchilling fact: When Brownback spewed this shyte in front of a crowd of 500 people... they stood up and cheered. I know. I threw up a bit in my mouth, too. He went on: "Is rape made any better by killing an innocent child? Does it solve the problem for the woman that's been raped?" Uh, well it will never take away the horrific rape (or the horrible diseases and possible HIV infection that could have resulted from the rape) but it certainly could help ease the burden on the woman because why should she (and perhaps her husband/partner and children) be forced to endure a forced pregnancy, labor, birth, and ultimately, a child-- that was never EVER wanted-- and only came about due to brutal violence? Especially when you consider how many women die in pregnancy and/or childbirth worldwide. What if the woman has to go on bedrest due to this pregnancy? Will there be a Republican fund set up to assist this woman and her family that may depend on her working? What if she dies due to this pregnancy? Will there be a Republican fund set up to care for her remaining spouse, and/or kids? And call me crazy, but isn't it awfully anti-family to expect every woman who is raped to make her rapist a daddy? What if her spouse/ partner wants to be the ONLY daddy? How many men who are the partners and perhaps husbands of these raped women will accept and/ or raise a child of a rapist? How many of these men will sit back and watch their loved one be forced to carry a rapist's child to term? Will these men be expected to pay for the rapist's child? Give the rapist's child insurance benefits? Give the rapist's child his surname? And what about the rapist? Does he pay child support? Get visitation rights? And think about this: With visitation rights, it just might be the rapist's lucky day because then he can perhaps rape his own children and continue the "beautiful tradition", huh? No thanks Sen. Rapeback. My husband and I would like to keep my uterus exclusively as the home of ONLY wanted babies, thankyouverymuch. Because whether you know it or not, the 14th century has ended, and if you're so keen on letting rapists become daddies, why don't you run for office in Darfur? I hear the Sudanese govt and the Janjaweed are right in line with your thinking.
Want to lose a few IQ points? Visit the Answers in Genesis Creation Museum
This falls into the "ya have gotta be fucking kidding me department." Now, truth be told, Hubby and I had already discussed visiting this place just for shits and giggles... (especially after we learned that the actor whom the winguts got to play Adam in their sick "science" project has a very... ahem... randy past). So it was with bated breath that I eagerly read how a visit to the Answers in Genesis Creation Museum could pan out. The blogger who dared to visit the joint summed it up this way: "A $27 million monstrosity devoted to religious fanaticism, disguised as “science." Uh... yep. That is about what I expected. But c'mon... it is only a 5 hr drive south of us, so why not piss away an afternoon on such utter shyte? Ya know... studying the enemy. But I have to confess, if we do make the trip, will spending a day with freaks who earnestly believe that The Flintstones and the 70's Saturday morning show "Land of the Lost" were weekly scientific documentaries have any longterm effects on my innocent and impressionable kiddos? Aaaw screw it. Facts and science be damned. Maybe I'll get really lucky and find a hella cute Holly and Chaka T-shirt for BabyGirl and a Sleekstak onesie for Lil Man at the wingnut gift shop. Aaaah... a girl can hope, right?
Sweet baby drag queens... "Pentagon officials on Friday confirmed to a Berkeley, CA watchdog organization (that tracks military spending) that military leaders had considered, and then subsquently rejected, building the so-called "Gay Bomb." And oh yeah... this makes this N.E. Ohioan oh-so proud: "The Ohio Air Force lab proposed that a hormone bomb be developed that contained a chemical that would cause enemy soliders to become gay, and to have their units break down because all their soldiers would became irresistably attractive to one another"... and then devote all of their time trying to doing the naked bone dance rather than killing. Oh puhleaze. Like men don't already devote 80% of their time to trying to get laid. Why don't these freaks come up with a gay bomb that will make men able to accessorize their clothes and fabulously decorate a home? THAT would be useful... BUT on the other hand... this gay bomb could sooooo explain the always gay-bashing (yet never married 52 yr old Air Force colonel) and always sashaying in his ultra light loafers while vigorously supporting "Don't Ask Don't Tell" Senator Lindsey Graham, no?
Bush chugs beer at G-8 Summit
Holy Mother on a moped.... this is all we need: Captain Clueless falling off the wagon at the G-8 Summit. You'd think that Angela Merkel might NOT want to chug brews with Mr. Happy-Hands, but what do I know? And ABC News is running a story that now... after chugging some German brews... that Bush is holed up in his room with some stomach illness. Uhh... we already know he suffers from mental illness, but I'm willing to bet my small children that our esteemed Prez has a wicked hangover and that's why he can't come out to play. And get this: The caption to this pix at ABC News says this: "U.S. President George Bush enjoys a cold drink in historic Heiligendamm, Germany on Thursday, June 7, 2007." A cold drink that is piss yellow and has a distinctive foam on top and is served in a Pilsner glass? Uhh, yeah assholes. That's called a BEER. He's a dry drunk that claims God talks to him and made him quit drinking and he's NOW drinking a German beer. I guess that means the mighty helping hand of Jesus has ditched Dubya or God was just waaay too busy checking out the Umpah Pah bands and lederhosen to notice His Christian warrior's fall off the wagon, huh? Then again, I distinctly recall Bush being so soused at last year's G-8 Summit that his soulfully eyed buddy Putin had to help him sit down at a table. Oh, I get it. This drinking can only mean one thing: Since nobody feels the pain of our soldiers' deaths more than he does, our beloved Commander and Chief is simply raising a glass in honor of the 27 troops who have already died this month.
Keith O sums it all up while I already knew I needn't fret over this latest JFK terror plot, so I'll focus on "redshirting" kindergarten options
This is a pix of BabyGirl holding a very sleepy Lil Man aka "The Tiny Wizard" as she calls him when he wears this get-up. Usually she puts a little silver wand with a star on top in his hand and exclaims "abracadabra!" I know... I know... he'll so hate us later... but we'll have pix like this to blackmail him with. And I knew that my gut feeling telling me that this latest "just uncovered by the seat of our oh-so-lucky pants" terror plot equals complete crapola was absolutely correct, and Keith Olbermann succinctly summed up all of my suspicions nice & neat. Keith's recap is especially revealing when you toss in the recent frightening outcry by the head of the Arkansas GOP that what America needs is just some good old fashioned terror attacks on U.S. soil to get us citizens rallying behind Pres McClusterfuck and his utterly failed war. Whoa. Now I don't feel guilty at all for devoting most of my recent concerns to figuring out if Hubby and I should "redshirt" BabyGirl from kindergarten when school starts in late August instead of fretting over yet another "Bush, the Mighty Savior, saved-us again" terror plot. Ya see, BabyGirl turns 5yrs old in late June, and we asked our pediatrician what she thought, and she recommends holding back "summer birthday 5 yr olds" because so much rides on No Child Left Behind testing, and so many other parents hold their kids back even when their 5 olds aren't summer birthdays... which creates an entire group of kids who are one year older and advanced, one year more mature, and one year more physically developed than a just turned 5 yr old. Hubby and I have been mulling this over for at least a year now and we haven't decided what to do... but sending her to Catholic school kindergarten just may be the route we choose. If she doesn't thrive as we think we she should (she is a V-E-R-Y smart cookie, but she is physically smaller than most of her peers and she is often very afraid of unfamiliar situations/ people/ places/ routines, etc which can be perceived as social akwardness) we can always have her repeat much smaller class size Catholic school kindergarten without the heavy stigma that repeating a grade in public school carries with it. We haven't decided yet what to do... and we have to meet with the Catholic school kindergarten teachers in the coming weeks to discuss BabyGirl's options. But I know one thing I won't be doing this summer: Pissing my pants over more Bush fearmongering. Besides, if we have anything to truly fear, it is the GOP who eagerly salivates like a Komodo dragon over the idea of terror attacks wiping plenty of us out for the sake of their evil Empty Headed Emperor.