Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Uber-macho Giuliani warns that America can only be safe in butch GOP hands... then adjusts pantyhose and powders his nose
Ya know what Rudy? You might be correct in your claim that America can avoid being attacked ONLY if a Republican... and presumably a Republican like yourself... is in the White House. Of course this assertion would require the American voters to ignore the stone cold hard fact that America was attacked by terrorists ONLY when a Republican was in the White House AND the fact that the very city you were mayor of was attacked not once but twice by terrorists while under your watch... but, sure... let's roll with Rudy's logic, shall we? America might be safer in the hands of a GOPer... especially a fabulously flamboyant & resplendent Repuke like you... Of course that would be b/c terrorists would take one horrified gander at your hideously foul ass in drag and run away screaming and clawing at their sizzling eyes and soon to be imploding heads... but sure... we'd be oh-so safe. Who knows... maybe the terrorists would leave us alone b/c they'd be afraid of Rudy's smooch-happy paramour Trump. Or maybe they'd be afraid that Rudy and his can-canning girlfriends would kick their asses with their high heels. Or maybe... just maybe, Rudy... a vainglorious handjob like yourself and your mythomaniac claim are just this: 100% crapola... and some folks like this guy... and these political guys... and a New Yorker w/ the hard cold facts like Keith Olbermann... are outing you from your ceaseless fear mongering closet.
Snoozing, Sepsis, and Sexism
Aaaww... look at the peaceful sleep of the innocent. This pix of me holding a snoozing Lil Man was taken by Hubby at about 4:30am. As I'm sure you can guess, the only people snoozing at our house are BabyGirl and Lil Man. Hubby and I at this point are completely functioning sleep-deprived zombies. Oh well... it could be worse. I could be back in the hospital. Because you see, a mere week after giving birth to Lil Man, I developed a 104 degree fever and severe chills. Hubby promptly called my OB/GYN and took me to the hospital where upon I was admitted for a week of nonstop IV treatment with antibiotics. Have you ever read a historical novel and the mom who just gave birth dies a few days or weeks after giving birth from "childbirth fever"? Well, that is precisely what I had. Childbirth fever... or sepsis as we call it today. It appears that when I ripped rather badly during the pushing part of labor that nasty E coli bacteria entered my bloodstream and the slow but deadly poisoning of my entire body began. My OB/GYN informed me that I must be pretty damn healthy b/c people who develop sepsis have about a 30% mortality rate. I have 2 things to say: Thank the Gods that I have health insurance, and thank the Gods that I had my children in the 21st century b/c with either child and pregnancy I would have surely died, whether from kidney failure due to toxemia while pregnant w/ BabyGirl or due to the uncontrolled blood pressure, compression of my vena cava during labor, or post partum sepsis w/ Lil Man. All of this pregnancy and post partum stuff, in combination w/the always disgusting and sexist Don Imus ooh-laa-laa this past week, has lead me to one conclusion: Women are anything but weak and inferior to men, so why do guys feel so utterly comfortable tossing sexist crap at half of the world's population? Here's an example: Ya see, I have always felt that calling someone (especially a guy) a "pussy" to denote their weakness is an absurd paradox b/c a pussy is not an object that is insulting. Not only that, but from my point of view, a pussy is anything but weak. Pussies not only are the only things capable of growing and bringing forth new life into this world, but they also hold the very powerful position of determining who gets laid in this world. Honestly, what part of a male's anatomy could possibly compare to that?? So, the next time an old colostemy bag like Imus wants to insult women, he needs to seriously thank his lucky stars that a woman brought him into this world, and praise the heavens that any woman would actually have sex with him and give birth to his offspring, let alone-- as his wife-- tolerate having to listen to his insulting spew day in and day out . Think about it... you may not be comfortable w/ my unabashed and liberal usage of the word pussy, but ya know that the point I make about the power of the pussy is correct. Now... I'm off to cuddle with my sweet and chubby Lil Man (who of course had better never dare to treat women as Don Imus has) and hug my fiesty BabyGirl, who will drop-kick any guy who dares to use sexist words towards her, and kiss my openly feminist Hubby, who happily loves and adores women.