Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Rev Moon: Freaky-deaky Sexual Pervert


The King & Queen of Sexual Perversion AND GOP/ Religious Fright darlings: The Rev Moon & his wife.
Holy crusty hankerchiefs Batman! Hat tip to Earl for passing this my way... although after reading it, I must confess I am at a loss for words, which is RARE for me. AlterNet: "The owner of the conservative mouthpiece the WashTimes & self-proclaimed Messiah, the Rev Moon, has issued a warning to America that we must have sex the way he entreats us, in the positions he has designated, or else forfeit our "love organs," to Satan. 1.) Before having sex for the 1st time as man and wife, couples have to beat Satan out of each other w/ Moon's "indemnity stick ceremony". 2.) Satan will not be purged until newlyweds carry out Moon's "3 Day Sex Ceremony" which involves specified sex positions, wearing Holy Gowns, doing it in front of Moon's photograph, and you can even do it in one of Moon's churches. 3) But you have to have some specific items on hand, according to the instructions available online: a Holy Handkerchief, a church-supplied cloth, and a photo of the WashTimes publisher and conservative benefactor w/ his wife. By now you may be asking WTF is a Holy Hanky? Well, get this: "After sex, both spouses should wipe their sexual areas with the Holy Handkerchief. Hang the handkerchief[s] to dry naturally and keep them eternally. They must be kept individually labeled and should never be laundered and mixed up." OMFG... how nasty is THAT? I bet that stiff and smelly thing could walk to the washing machine all by itself! 4.) Over 3 nights, there must be 3 acts of sex, and condoms or any other apparatus are not permitted during sex b/c as Moon said in 2004, "The women are the problem in history. Women who don't want to have children should cut away their breasts, bottoms and love organ because the purpose for those was 1st for the children. If they don't fulfill that purpose, then they are not needed." Men don't get off any easier: "Keep pliers in your pocket, and when you go to the bathroom, once a day, pinch your penis. Cut the skin a little bit as a warning." Whoa. Pinching your wanker w/pliers & cutting off my yoo-hoo is beyond freaky- deaky ... but didja know that Moon was coronated in '04 in our very own US Dirksen Senate building in '04? I have to wonder now if Rev Moon is the actual heavenly father figure Bush takes orders from? For info on the Moonies & the GOP/ Religious Fright, please check this site out... if ye dare.
Posted by Tina :: 1:11 AM :: 11 Comments:

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