Monday, March 13, 2006
Defense Dept wants Sharks to Spy
And to think, we all thought Dr Evil was kidding when he said: "Ya know, I have 1 simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin laser beams attached to their heads!" Read Tom Englehardt's "Shark and Awe" about the plan to take blue sharks and place neural implants into their heads and use them as stealth underwater spies. The DOD's "hope is to exploit sharks' natural ability to glide quietly through the water, sense delicate electrical gradients and follow chemical trails. By remotely guiding the sharks' movements, they hope to transform the animals into stealth spies, perhaps capable of following vessels without being spotted." Wait a tick!.... it appears that we had already tried something like this before w/ dolphins, and it was only after Katrina struck-- and the armed dolphins went missing-- that we were able to find out about it. The Channel Register UK sums up that BushCo fuckup best here: "Heavily-armed, frightened, and confused. No, we don't mean the Bush Administration, but a group of killer dolphins trained by the US Navy and lately washed into the Gulf of Mexico by Hurricane Katrina." Sweet Jesus, this all sounds like a bad B movie... how I wish it only were.