Friday, January 20, 2006
Osama bin Forgotten Surfaces Just in Time to Scare Away Bush's Ample Scandals
I guess if we Americans really want Osama bin Laden captured, we're gonna have to send in Stewie Griffin.
VP Chief of Staff Scooter Libby indicted for leaking the name of a CIA operative, Rove still under investigation, WH Procurement Manager David Safavian arrested and led away in hand cuffs, Duke Cunningham pleads guilty to being bribed & wore a wire to implicate others, Bush vacations while FEMA lets Katrina victims die, Tom Delay is under indictment in TX and under investigation in the Abramoff scandal, Bob Ney next likely to fall in Abramoff scandal, Mounting pressure to reveal Bush connections to Abramoff, New Medicare plan is a major disaster, Majority of Americans view Iraq War as folly and want troops home, Revelation that troop body armor is tied to no-bid contract w/another Bush contributor, NSA Domestic spying comes to light, Poll numbers showing majority support for Impeachment... oh yeah... this brand spanking new Osama bin Laden audiotape is soooo shockingly convenient, eh?
It also was released coincidentally on the very same day that The Big Dick Cheney was in NYC to spew his War on Terror tactics, demanding support for the Patriot Act, and defending domestic wiretaps. Shocking, no? And why exactly HASN'T this new spooky tape caused our terror alerts to rise? Oh that's right... BushCo put OBL back in his vault and won't pull him out until they deem it necessary again. Or do ya think that maybe someone in the Bin Laden family decided it was time to help out ol' Georgie and called in a favor from OBL? The Bush family has looong standing ties to the bin Laden family, Dubya's business partner was Osama's bro Salem, ya know. And what better way to try to influence the debate over illegal NSA spying than to trot out Boogeyman #1? Not to mention the fact how amazingly quick they can ascertain the authenticity of the tape and how quickly they can translate it. It's magical!